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Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
- Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)
For a good life: Work like a dog. Eat like a horse. Think like a fox. And play like a rabbit.
- George Allen
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
- George Carlin
Arrested but minor: We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig.
- item on actual resume
